Mental Health, Self-care and Being a Volunteer Samaritan

Wholesome Chats—Episode 1, Fleur

This article serves as a hybrid of a script and list of questions from episode 1 of my podcast, Wholesome Chats. You can either read through the questions or listen directly to the podcast episode.

Covered in this episode:

• Volunteering at Samaritans
• Mental Health
• Emotional wellbeing

Script/questions

My name is Heldiney and I started this podcast with the aim of opening up some of the wonderful conversations I have with the brilliant people in my life and sharing them with the world, in hopes that others could take as much from these conversations as I often do.

Guests in this podcast series are people I greatly admire and have often learned a great deal from. We will explore various topics with a different focus on each episode.

I’ve been a volunteer Samaritan for two years now. For those who don’t know about the organisation, they are a mental health charity that is focused on supporting anyone in the UK that may need to talk things through while they are going through a hard time, feeling depressed, suicidal or perhaps just not feeling their best.

The last time I checked I’ve clocked just over 177 hours of being on shift, with most of those being on the phone with callers. I’ve learned some great lessons from the calls I’ve taken, something I hoped for when I chose to volunteer, however, being on the phones has helped me grow in ways that I couldn't foresee when I chose to volunteer.

Surprisingly, not every lesson comes from a phone call with someone going through a hard time. A great portion of what I learned came directly from the volunteers with who I’ve been fortunate enough to be on shift with, folks who are often far more experienced, insightful and emotionally intelligent than I am.

One of those volunteers is my friend Fleur, with who I have the pleasure of having a conversation today. Fleur is here today as herself, not a representative of Samaritans in any official format, what we discuss in this podcast will be our individual thoughts and opinions, nothing that you are about to hear represents the views of the brilliant organisation that is Samaritans.

As an organisation, Samaritans goes to great lengths to ensure all of the conversations that happen between volunteers and callers are strictly confidential and that there are no records of the details discussed. With that in mind, no details of any conversations we’ve had as Samaritans will be discussed in our chat today.

Though I’m proud of my two years and 177 hours, Fleur’s experience is the sun to my tiny planet earth, she has been supporting people in the UK for 12 years and has clocked over 2,000+ hours while doing so. She is the expert today and I am lucky to have her here.

Although we are both Samaritans, I’d like to focus our chat today on mental health, our individual experience and understanding of it and how our journeys as volunteers have influenced our perception.

1. When did you first come about the concept of mental health Fleur? Talk us through the point in which it became something you were aware of.
2. Why did you decide to volunteer as a Samaritan?
3. In what ways has your experience influenced your understanding of mental health? (if at all)
4. How do you manage to take care of your own mental health while volunteering for a charity that requires quite a bit of mental energy?
5. In your personal opinion, what do you think are some of the common pitfalls that you witness in how people perceive and approach their mental wellbeing?

As Samaritan trainees, we were constantly reminded that suicide is something that you gradually become a lot more comfortable talking about with others. Tough conversations involving self-determination, self-harm, depression and the various factors revolving around those subjects become familiar territory, never quite easy nonetheless.

1. In what ways do you feel being a Samaritan has influenced the conversations you have with the people in your life?
2. Are there any subjects you still struggle to talk about?

In my personal experience active listening becomes a very conscious investment that you make as a Samaritan, a number of conversations become a lot less about you and a lot more about the person that is speaking and is seeking to be heard by sharing something with you. I’ve become very comfortable with silence since it is the best way to listen.

1. How have your listening skills changed in the past ten years?
2. If you could summarise some of those takeaways in three points to share with our audience today what would they be?

The question ‘how are you?’ is something we hear every day, often with an expected positive response. Of the first conversations I had with you, I remember you asked me ‘how are you feeling?’ and I answered with ‘I think…’ followed by a reflection, often unrelated to my actual feelings.

1. What would you say is the difference between describing your thoughts and describing your emotions?
2. What are some of the ways in which you believe we can become better at talking about our feelings as well as our thoughts?

Fleur it’s been a real pleasure talking to you today, I always appreciate any time I get to have wholesome chats with you. Thank you so much for taking the time to be here today. Before I let you go, I have a question I will ask all of my guests on this podcast, you’ll be the first to answer, so you will set a precedent.

1. What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in your life, that is worth sharing? (something unique to you)